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Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Tuesday 5: Summer time and the living is....busy?!

Okay, wow.  Sooooo...I took the summer off.  Sorry about that.  I have been BUSY!  This time I actually mean it and I wasn't just suffering from writer's block.

I'm gonna do a Tuesday 5 to get back in the groove, alright?

Thanks for sticking with me, by the way.  And HELLLLOOoooooo to the new faces!  (Pretend that was Seinfeld.)

Without further ado...

1.  I started a new job in May, as a trainer.  I love it.  It's always different and I get to talk a LOT.  Only downside is all. the. MEETINGS.  OMGoodness!  That's okay, though because I would still rather be stuck in a meeting than sitting at a desk doing the same work over and over and over ad infinitum.  I also chose a standing desk at my workspace.  I love it.  I occasionally do a bit of yoga while standing.  I do some squats or calf raises while reading stuff and my legs feel much better.

2.  I am involved in 3 SIGNIFICANT things within my parish.  I have weekly meetings for two of them and am about to start monthly meetings for the third one.  I'm actually THRILLED!  I like having 50 things going at once so this suits me just fine.  The people I work with are all brilliant and kind and funny and creative and so, so generous with their spirits, their words, and their time.  It's amazing.  Truly.  I love my parish so much!

3.  So, I flaked on no-spend August you guys!  I just couldn't plan and commit this year.  It was so hard.  I was busy and just feeling depressed and deflated (losing one of my pets and gaining back some weight will do that to you) and I just felt so blah that I didn't do it.  BUT, I have my shopping list for September and tomorrow after work I am going to prep.  It's going to be a September fiscal fast instead.  I have a few old blog posts on this, if you are clueless.  Check 'em out!

4.  I've been thinking about babies a lot lately.  There's a song by Jason Aldean called "Laughed until we Cried" and it came on my mp3 today.  This is one of the verses:

Just the other night the baby was cryin
So I got out of bed rocked her awhile and I held her tight
And I told her it would be all right
My mind went back to a few years ago
We tried so long, we almost gave up hope
And I remember you comin' in and tellin me the news
Oh man we were livin, goin crazy in the kitchen
We danced and screamed and held each other tight
We laughed until we cried

Ugh, you guys.  I wanted this so badly...I dreamed of the day that I could do this with my husband.  It touches my heart so deeply and some days I can't handle it.  It's been a while since I've felt as sad as I did when all the fertility stuff was actively happening to me.  I trust in Jesus to help me.  He's there.  I know it.  It's just really f'in depressing sometimes.  It makes me hide that pain behind something else and not processing this crap hasn't helped.  Sometimes I watch a bunch of sad videos to force myself to cry it out, but I have to find joy in small things.  I have to. 

5.  Well, the inevitable "signs of aging" have started.  Oh boy.  (Note the sarcasm.)  I put my hair up in a top knot the other day and I apparently have glitter all over my hair now...?  Or something glinting in the light.  I'm going with strands of glitter.  I also have to fill in my eyebrows with a pencil now.  Okay, that's just not cool.  Why do eyebrows thin?  I don't want to be the middle aged woman with just one thin line as my brow.  Also, there's a vessel in my eyelid that's now visible.  The hell is that?  My hands are getting old, too.  This can't be happening!  Where do I submit complaints?  

Get off my lawn, you durn kids!  

Thanks for reading.

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