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Thursday, August 20, 2015

I live in a Cat House.

So, have you ever seen The Best Little Whore house in Texas?  It came out in 1982, starring the good version of Burt Reynolds and Dolly Parton.  My Mom loved that movie and I'm pretty sure I watched it, more than once, before I turned 8.  As the title implies, Dolly is the proprietor of a home full of  young women just looking to save up some money for college.  *insert eyeroll here*  I really must develop a sarcasm font.

Anyhoo, here's the synopsis from

"Town Sheriff and regular patron, fights to keep a historical whorehouse open when a TV preacher targets it as the Devils playhouse."

You know, it's quite interesting how society nearly 35 years later keeps trying to ban things that people deem immoral.  I'm not saying that we should have courtesans giving handies during debate on CSPAN or anything, but as far as immoral acts go, I think consensual paid sex is lower on my list of priorities to go after, ya' know?

What was I saying again?  Oh yeah, my home is a cat house, too, but instead of hookers and blow, I get indifferent animals and puked up hairballs everywhere.  I have two cats.  I would say own, but any cat "owner" knows who really owns whom.  Amirite?  And yes, according to the Googles, it is "who owns whom".

Gonzo is the lover boy.  He's a total mama's boy!
When we purchased this home, over 5 years ago now, we had not anticipated that the lovely cream color of the carpet in the basement would eventually look like the Jackson Pollock of cat puke.  We relegated the two demons (no seriously, I love these furballs, but ya know..?) to our laundry room, which had no carpet, only concrete floors.  This is where we set up the litter box and placed the water and food dishes.

The greatest thing about them being down in the basement was that we could shut the door so they wouldn't come upstairs at night.  My female calico (Princess) likes to be nosy and she gets into everything.  She also hides things.  At our old house, we were cleaning before the move, and moved a large console radio/record player.  We found Barbie clothes, hair ties, milk jug rings, twist ties, used Q-tips fished out of the trash, and socks.  She's pretty much half a ferret.  So, now the door gets closed and dishes don't end up on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night.

I do miss having Gonzo (our male black cat, officially named Tony Gonzalez, Jr.) snuggle up on the bed during the night, but I know my husband doesn't miss him.  Instead, we now get wake up meows from the cats sitting on the stairs demanding food.  Gonzo is my diabetic cat and so we had to switch from dry food to wet food a while back to help him keep his carbs down.  He seems to be doing better.  He used to weigh 21 pounds and is now down to 14 or so.  Princess has slimmed down as well, from 12 pounds to 9 pounds.  (I wish I could lose weight so easily.)

When I'm sick, Princess knows the cure.
Now, they meow like crazy until they are fed.  They each get a can early in the morning and another one in the evening.  Believe me, they will let you know if you neglect them!  Gonzo is very vocal and doesn't like his supper to be held up.

Princess, my quirky girl, she likes to climb.  In our basement, we have a large shelving unit in the laundry room.  It holds all of the holiday decorations and tubs full of photos and memories which probably won't see the light of day until I die.  We also have the drop down ceilings and we don't have the plastic covers over the fluorescent lights that hang down there.  Do you see where I'm going with this?  Yeah, my husband was sitting downstairs watching TV one evening when he looked up to see Princess staring back down at him.  She had climbed up into the ceiling and was wandering around like it was her little loft space!

My cat house is crazy and very much like the little whore house in Texas, it has its own unique smell.  Since my cats now eat wet food, Gonzo can clear a room with his farts.  I set up the empty boxes from Amazon for Princess, because she loves to play in them.  They are 8 years old and I hope they will be around for at least another 10.  I love my kitties and if you have animals, you know the special place they hold in your hearts.  Being owned by a cat can be rewarding in its own way, even if they seem to condescend to put up with you.

My Bear, with his puppy cut last year.
Do you have any animals in your home?  We also have a big, slobbery dog named Bear.  He's 10 and I taught him a new trick today.  Tell me about yours and their names.  I love seeing pictures of other animals and their hoomans, too.

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